“I’ll have a Ham & Cheese and a Savings Account, please.”

As I’ve stated before, I have a odd fascination for television commercials. I look at them artistically and creatively. And do they make sense….

So, there’s this kid and he’s trying to kick a football through the goal posts. He just can’t muster the strength to get the ball up and over. His father runs over and kneels before him and gives him some motivational advice. He reaches up and puts his hand on the boys chest and says, “free. free, free, free.” The child understands this and returns to his efforts. Years later, he’s about to kick the field goal to win his high school championship. He kicks. He scores. He looks to the stands and finds his father, tears in his eyes. He waves and repeats, “free. free, free, free.” Ofcourse this has to make sense. Maybe its some weird language I don’t understand. Then the story fades to be an advert for a Tax Service that is free. Free, free. Free. (Huh?)

A car pulls up to pick up a dog with a bowling bag in its mouth. The car is driven by another dog. This dog decides its funny to stop and as the dog with the bowling bag tries to get in, the doge driving pumps the gas to move forward. It’s an age old trick we play on ptentional passangers for a ride. We cut to a slide that stars, “Dog tested, dog approved.” (Do dogs drive Subarus?)

A man walks into a bank and orders a venti Carmel Macchiato. He takes a sip and reads his morning paper. People sit at tables. Some are chatting. Some are tapping on tablets and computers – most likely enjoying the free WiFi. The counter is stocked with deliscious fruits and sandwiches. Another gentleman orders a ham and cheese and opens a savings account. No this isn’t a strange world. It’s CapitalOne believe that we need to go to a bank to get our morning cup of joe.. (uh, okay.)

I’ll keep watching and I’ll keeping questioning them….

Fender Bender for IBS

The best part of television watching are those 2 minute shorts that happen in between the shows. Some are really funny. Some are really good. Some are really bad. And then there’s some that are really funny and clever.

When I was a kid, I recalled that most of the commercials told me there was a soda war — I guess Coke had a thing against Pepsi — and Lucky Charms were more magically delicious than Honey Nut Cheerios. If I was watching Saturday Morning Cartoons or After-School Cartoons, there were the commercials that told us why a toy was cooler than another. For me G.I. Joe was better than Star Wars figures because G.I. Joe could actually bend his elbows — that was a big deal when I was 12! I wasn’t so much concerned about the doll that could wet or the Bears that made us Care. Not for me.

Those little stories were very diverse and helped us find what we needed to make life great: we could find It’s All Inside at JC Penny and there was More For Your Life at SEARS, Ronald McDonald had Fry Guys, Mayor McCheese and the Hamburglar, Wendy’s wanted to know Where’s the Beef!, Kool Aid Man would punch through walls to make sure we knew there needed to be 2 cups of sugar mixed with that tiny packet, Super-Models told me not to Hate Them Because They Were Beautiful!, Indians (sorry Native Americans) cried over litter, a Bear told us We Can Prevent Forest Fires!, Ivory soap was 99.9% pure (not sure why they could never get that .1% to say 100?), and Colonel Sander’s Kentucky Fried Chicken (the sign really did say Kentucky Fried Chicken not sure why they went to KFC unless they knew Millennials were coming and needed an abbreviation for texting?) was Finger Licking Good! ( but that just isn’t PC anymore.)

Today, we are told that we don’t have enough insurance: State Farm (Fender Bender), AllState (Mayhem Happens), Geico (Little Pig Go Wee Wee All The Way Home and Humpday!), Progressive (Yo Flo!), Liberty (Statue in frame always) Farmers (We know a Thing or Two Because We’ve Seen a Thing or Two!), and Nationwide (Is on Your Side!)! Maybe my rates are so dang high is because all the money spent on advertising instead of paying claims (just wondering?). And if I don’t have enough insurance then I’m surely not medicated enough from everything from my eczema to my irritable bowel disorder — please disregard the 3 minutes of the side-effects. Lastly, if you can’t afford these medications than you need something like GoodRx, which I’m curious if a $87 drug can be reduced to $9 bucks because of a stupid coupon, why can’t that drug just be $9 for everyone?

I find more enjoyment over those commercials I can ridicule and yell at. But there’s some that just truly make me truly laugh– like the new State Farm Fender Bender commercial or the old Kmart ad I shipped my pants!. If you haven’t seen it, please search for it on youtube. Oh, I think I’ll go find some of those old 80s commercials….